The Science of Sex with Seema Anand
- Ryan Fernando
- 2 days ago
- 2 min read
When Seema Anand sat across from me on my podcast and said, “Sex is not easy. It is work,” it felt like a truth we rarely say aloud. As a nutritionist, I see the same pattern every day. People blame relationships, partners or chemistry, but the body tells a different story.
Intimacy needs energy, hormones, circulation and emotional safety. Without that foundation, desire collapses.
Here is the episode through a nutrition lens.
1. When the Body Is Exhausted, Intimacy Feels Impossible
Most couples think they have a relationship problem.
Often, they actually have:
• low hemoglobin
• low vitamin D
• low B12
• high stress hormones
• poor sleep
• constant fatigue
• processed food habits
If your cells are tired, your brain will not prioritise intimacy.
This is biology, not personality.
2. Why “Straight to Foreplay and Penetration” Does Not Work
Seema described how most couples rush intimacy. From a physiological view, this is why it fails.
Women need:
• blood flow
• lubrication
• relaxed pelvic muscles
• safety
• time
Men need:
• stable testosterone
• good sleep
• reduced stress
• healthy blood vessels
Intimacy is a sequence. When couples skip the sequence, the body shuts down.
3. Screens, Stress and Dopamine Are Killing Connection
Seema spoke about distractions and modern pressures.
I see the biochemical impact.
Sugar, phones, fast dopamine and chronic stress overstimulate the brain.
Once your brain gets used to quick dopamine hits, meaningful intimacy feels like effort.
This is not moral failure.
It is neurochemistry.
4. Newly Married Couples Need Patience, Not Performance
Many young men ask me if they should take a pill on their wedding night.
Seema explained how the Kamasutra recommends waiting a few days until the woman feels ready.
From a biological point of view, this makes sense.
The female body needs adjustment, lubrication and communication.
Pressure creates pain.
Pain shuts down desire.
Patience builds pleasure.
5. Why Long-Term Intimacy Declines
After years of marriage, couples tell me they feel too tired.
The real reasons I see every day:
• nutrient deficiencies
• poor sleep
• no movement
• high work stress
• junk food
• low sexual confidence
• no real communication
When the body breaks down, the bedroom breaks down.
Movement improves hormones.
Nutrition improves energy.
Communication improves connection.
Intimacy improves only when all three align.
My Biggest Learning From Seema Anand
Before we talk about the act, we must talk about:
• emotions
• boundaries
• safety
• communication
Nutrition teaches me the same rule.
A body that does not feel safe will not open.
A mind that does not feel understood will not respond.
A couple that does not talk will drift apart.
This podcast reminded me that sexual wellness is not separate from health. It is a reflection of it.
If we improve our food, sleep, stress, movement and communication, intimacy naturally returns.
It is biology, culture and connection working together.
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